How do you say goodbye?
Today I learned that you say goodbye with LOVE. Today my beautiful friend, mentor and spiritual leader Rabbi Vicki Tuckman was laid to rest. Today I along with approximately 1,000 other people (yes, you read that correctly, one thousand people) said our final goodbye to a beautifully unique woman. The outpouring of love and support that I witnessed today was something I once thought I could only imagine. Today I learned what the power of the heart can really do and that heart belonged to Vicki... and over one thousand friends, family, colleagues, and other loved ones. Vicki shared herself and gave of herself without hesitation. She wanted to know more than your name, she wanted to KNOW YOU! She had a way, a mysterious mystical way of getting you to share of yourself too. She would genuinely learn about you, your family, your job, your interests, and maybe even what you like to eat for breakfast and what your favorite toothpaste is. I call it the jedi mind trick. I'm 100% certain that when I wasn't looking Vicki would wave her hand across my head in true Jedi fashion, which would then lead me into agreeing to do things I wouldn't normally agree to and LIKE IT! Vicki had a gift. She could take one look at you, ask you a few probing questions (gently of course) and knew what your potential was, even when you had absolutely no idea in the world what your own potential was. She saw the best in everyone and was sure to find a way to have them see the best in themselves too. She enabled you to work at your full potential even when you didn't think you had it in you. The most amazing thing (among many) about Vicki was that she "GOT IT". Vicki 100% truly got it. I really do think she might have been a Jedi master, a modern day Yoda. It didn't matter if it was easy, difficult, wonderful, messy, confusing, or ugly, Vicki always got it. Her understanding of the world and of people was immense. She got people. She had a gift!! Just being in Vicki's presence could make you feel better on a rough day. She ALWAYS had the words, not just any words, but the right words. Good, bad or indifferent, she always had the right words to guide you. Vicki made you think. She didn't answer questions for you, she got you to answer the question for yourself. Again, I will refer to the Jedi mind trick.
Vicki could light up a room. Her infectious smile that was always on her face beamed for light-years. NEVER was she ever negative in her tone, her words or her body language. Vicki's love for life was infectious. In only 45 years Vicki lived more than most people do in twice that amount of time. I take much comfort in that. Although short in days, months and years, her life was FULL! As Vicki once quoted in a high holiday sermon, "525,600 minutes, how do you measure, measure a year?" Well, no matter how you want to take measure, Vicki's years were full to the brim.
My beautiful rabbi is now gone but will NEVER be forgotten. Vicki has instilled a love of Judaism in me and in my family that I've longed for and will never let go of. From discovering more holidays to celebrate and make special with my boys to making habit of lighting Friday night Shabbat candles, Vicki has inspired me to be the Jewish person I wanted to be. From having me become a teacher's assistant in Hebrew school to having my husband sit on the board of our temple, Vicki has inspired my family in a way I once could have only imagined. (Although, if that wasn't Jedi mind trick, then I don't know what is) It won't be easy without her. I will have to find the strength to keep on truck'n but I will. I will take everything that she has ever taught me and I will use it in some way every day. I will do this because of LOVE. LOVE is what brought me here. Vicki's love for life, love of nature, love of Judaism, love of Temple Micah, love of family and love of friends is what brought me here and it is what will keep me here. LOVE is how I will say goodbye and LOVE is how I will move forward and keep her memory alive.
I'm honored to have known such an amazing woman and to know her family. I'm glad I can be part of the village that looks after her family, her wonderful husband Rob and her three beautiful children Jonah, Elon and Yael. May her memory be for a blessing. I love you Vicki and the Tuckman family!
<3
